Friendship

The other day when I was eating dinner with a group of dorm mates, I looked around and thought to myself, “Why am I friends with these people? What do we have in common?” This experience got me thinking. Why am I friends with my friends? What is it about them that drew me to them and forged friendships? Was it something in particular that we had in common? Do we share hobbies, interests, or values? Or is it just the fact that we see each other all the time because we are in the same classes or live nearby?

After a significant amount of pondering, I came to the following conclusion: the friendships I value the most are the ones that are perhaps the most inconvenient but are built upon a solid foundation of shared interests and fundamental values. For better or for worse, I don’t treasure the friendships quite as much that I made out of necessity or convenience, the people I spend time with because they are within a comfortable proximity. Unfortunately, maybe as a result, a lot of those “convenient” friendships haven’t seemed to last over the years. For example, I’m only still in touch with one of my best friends from high school, the only one with whom I think I have a genuine connection instead of befriending her because she was there. I’ve come to feel like the friendships I create because they are convenient don’t last because they frequently aren’t built upon anything substantial. The people with whom I’ve remained friends even though it’s inconvenient, like my friends who have long since graduated college and whom I only see once or twice a month, are my truest friends because we’re in each other’s hearts no matter the time and distance that separates us. My best friends and I don’t look like we mesh at all at a superficial level, but we’re all fundamentally similar and are willing to make the effort to stay connected even when it’s inconvenient.

What do you think creates the basis for a strong friendship? What do you think makes a friendship lasting? Is nearest always dearest, or does distance make the heart grow fonder?

courtesy from : Girls By Design [http://networkedblogs.com/hENA8]